Comfort Silence

One day, when I was a little kid, I was crying calling for my mom. Everything was silent and scary. I couldn’t hear my own voice, my own crying. Then, I saw my mom’s hand over my shoulder and I was surprised. I hugged my mom and even cried harder. I remember I was begging my mom to let that annoying silence go away. The silence was annoying and my ears were blocked. I tried to put my fingers into them hoping I can hear again. My mom knew that something was wrong. She spoke to me over and over but I was crying and begging. She took me to the doctor and I entered that huge room who had toys and beautiful things that every kid wishes to play with. But I wasn’t happy because this silence was annoying me, it didn’t leave me alone. After a short period, I adapted with this silence and started playing with the toys. The doctor came over and put a huge earphones on my head. I was totally lost and scared but the beautiful toys made me distracted and keep playing with them. At a sudden, I started hearing noises. The silence started fading away and I could hear annoying sounds that were for me not annoying at all. I screamed to my mom and I could hear my scream. Then the sounds disappeared. Few days later, my mom took me again to the doctor, to the same room that was my favorite new place. The doctor held my hands and put a small tiny thing in my ear. I didn’t have any idea what was that. This tiny thing made the scary silence fade away. I could hear my mom’s voice after a long time of deprivation. It was a great moment that my tears were on the floor and on my mom’s shoes. Those little tiny things that I call ‘ my fairy creatures’ are in my ears for 18 years and sometimes they lose their energy and I gotta bring it back for them. I went to one of the best schools in town, I was the first student of the class, I got the highest third grade in exams among my friends and i’m now in Bard college. One year ago, I was offered a chance to do a 50% guaranteed-surgery to live without them forever but I didn’t accept it. I was happy with them, they were my little favorite creatures that I can’t live without. I was happy with myself and with them. It’s true that in high school I used to feel a bit insecure because of them, looking at girls around me that don’t wear like them. But later on, I said I must be special and Allah loves me because whenever he loves a believer, he gives him a thing to test his faith with to reward him later. The cool thing is, whenever I miss this scary annoying silence, I take them off and totally fly and get away from the sounds of this chaotic life. It has never been a curse, It is and will always be a bless.

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